I Forgive You

Choose forgiveness.

There are people in this life that will hurt us. That will leave us wounded and then  simply move on without looking back.

We can choose to dwell on this pain, let it drag us down OR we can choose to forgive, finally allowing ourselves to move forward.

When we choose to forgive, we are not condemning the actions of this individual as okay.  We may not even have contact with this person anymore. What we are doing is releasing ourselves from their power. We are no longer allowing this person(s) to have a hold on our life. No longer alloying them to drag us down.

Choose happiness.

Say it out loud, in your head or write it down then burn it, all the things you forgive this person for. 

I forgive you for hurting me. For coming into my life as a friend or as family and leaving me wounded with my heart on the floor. I can only hope that one day you realize what is truly important.

I forgive you for the hateful words you spew at me. For all the names you called me. I know I am not these things. Thank you for making me stronger. Thank you for showing me that you need thick skin to live in a world as cruel as ours.

I forgive you for taking it out on me, the difficult times that life handed you. I forgive you for not leaning on me when you could, instead for trying to knock me down to build yourself up. For making me feel small and stepping on me just so that you could feel bigger. I hope it helped you. I hope you are happier.

I forgive you for the abuse you inflicted onto me. Be that physical, mental, verbal or emotional. It will never be okay, but I forgive you. I hope you don’t treat another being like you did me.

I forgive you for hurting me because you could not figure out what you wanted in life. I hope one day you figure this out. You deserve happiness. We all do.

I forgive you for bullying me. You must have went through some bullying yourself, maybe you had a rough childhood, maybe you feel like you are never good enough. I hope you find the help you need.

I forgive you for not having a mind of your own. For allowing others to influence your role in our relationship. I forgive you for holding grudges on things in the past that neither of us can change. I forgive you for not being in my life anymore. Know that this is your choice. Know that I have done all I can to try to put the pieces back together. I forgive you for not having enough confidence to stand up for what you believe.

I forgive you for not being able to put differences aside. I forgive you for not being there for holidays, for not making a solid effort. I hope you are living a life full of love.

We have to choose to forgive the people in our life that hurt us. If we don’t, if we let these people drag us down, we will find that we are dragging ourselves through life. With heavy weights on our shoulders. While these people who have hurt us in some way, shape or form, are out their living their lives as if nothing happened, or so it seems.

Choose happiness. Release yourself from their hold. Forgive them for you. Allow yourself to move on. You deserve it. Forgive these people and feel their weight that they had on you be lifted.

Imagine yourself pulling a wagon. Each person who has ever hurt you and left, someone who has made a heavy mark on your life is a big rock. Your wagon becomes more and more heavier with each sorrow we hold onto. Now imagine this wagon is becoming so heavy you are struggling to move,  the wagon is struggling to function properly. Pick up a rock, toss it out. This is you forgiving this person. Notice the dent in the wagon from where the rock was. You are no longer being held down by the weight of that situation, but there will always be that dent. To remind you that you are strong, you have overcome and you have learned from this experience. As we toss out the rocks and forgive those who have harmed us, we become lighter. 

Life is short and unpredictable. Short in a sense that time passes so quickly. We need to make the active decision to not let the weight of others and past experiences hold us down.

You have pulled this wagon full of rocks for long enough and it is time to start lightening your load.

Forgive. You do not have to forget. Always remember the lesson that you have learned.

It is time for you to start living a happy life, free from the weight of the past. You can not change the past, you can accept it, forgive it, and move on.

TO DO:

Make a list of all the people who you have been holding onto. Choose to forgive one person a week. Actively release them and the pain they caused you, from your life.  Write them a letter (one that will be for your eyes only), write down all the things that you forgive them for. Burn the letter and imagine the weight being lifted off as the smoke rises to the sky and disappears.

Do not let their memory hold you back, when you feel like they are holding you back again, release them. Don’t allow yourself to dwell. Find something to keep your mind off it. If you need help, write down all the good in your life, all the things you have to be thankful for and focus on these instead.

It takes time and effort but I promise you that you will feel the benefits. You will notice a difference in your every day life. Notice that you are smiling more. Notice all the happiness that you have been closed off to receiving.

 

You deserve this,

Xx Ciara

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