Awakening

You know that feeling when everything is going so good, everything feels so right…. and you’re enjoying the ride… then you think, how can this continue? When is the wall going to come? the cliff? Now you’re on edge.

The universe delivered even more than I asked for. He is gold. Perhaps an angel sent to me.

You know that feeling when it doesn’t feel like real life? Like it’s all a wildly, beautiful dream? You find yourself in a constant euphoric trance. Like he just waltzed into your life, all knight in shining armour and your just thinking, this has to be too good to be true… wheres the rust? *Breaks out the magnifying glass*

He is all sunshine and love. A pure soul filled with light, given life by a heart of gold.

You know that feeling when you look into those big, golden eyes and it feels as though your heart might just stop? When they stare into yours and you can feel your soul ignite? Catching his stare, the one you’ve only ever dreamed of? I finally do.

I hope one day you can feel this way, if only for a moment. We all deserve to find someone who looks at us like we are the most beautiful creature to walk the earth and someone who makes us feel as though we can fly.

He is strong, the kind of strength that moves mountains, and if it can’t move it, he’ll help you get to the top. The kind of strength that runs through out every part of his being.

He is the trust I could never find in anyone else. The trust everyone broke. He came in, and has shown his undeniable commitment, from day one. He puts faith back in trust.

He is not just a “showroom model”, the kind where after a while, you notice it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. He is the real deal, through and through.

I could talk for days about how majestic this being is. How he has filled my days with light, and shown me how to believe again. How he came into my life and continues to show me that life is full of beauty, in ways I have never seen. I’ll tell you, the day he saved ants from drowning, my world was altered. I’ve always appreciated and basked in the beauty of the world, but he’s shown me a deeper beauty.

Yet I’m terrified.

Terrified one day I’ll wake up from this dream. The mind is a powerful, sometimes unruly tool. My fears are foolish, I know this as he re-assures me daily.  The journey of self-growth is never over, perhaps this is how I learn to let go of the past and realize the present is vastly different than anything I have ever experienced.

I try my best to quiet the what if’s. Why is it that we have such a hard time letting go of past hurt? When he is clearly picking up the pieces I thought were lost forever….. Writing this, I realize just how silly those what ifs are. I struggle to even write them, for the ridicule I’ll give myself is too much.

Today, I am done being terrified. For when someone comes along, allowing us to be 100% ourselves and enjoys every quirky moment…… There is no need to be terrified. Today I embrace, every single moment, as I have since he arrived. Releasing all the foolish thoughts and doubts from the past that cloud this perfect present.

He, in all his excellence, was worth every moment of the wait. He was worth the climb.

Thankful to my past, for leading me to where I am today, teaching me all you have. I release you and your hold on me.

Blessed for the present, it truly is a divine gift. I am cherishing all its glory. Here is true, undeniable happiness.

To the future, may you continue to be wildly authentic, full of light and unconditional love.

Here’s to you, here’s to me, Here’s to us.

xoxo

All my love.

Ciara

2 thoughts on “Awakening

  1. Stephanie

    Beautiful and eloquently written my dear. Your ability to put words to deep feelings that are difficult to explain is astounding to me. We are all very lucky to be able to read your beautiful blog from such a beautiful young woman, Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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