There are people in this life that will hurt us. That will leave us wounded and then simply move on without looking back.
We can choose to dwell on this pain, let it drag us down OR we can choose to forgive, finally allowing ourselves to move forward.
When we choose to forgive, we are not condemning the actions of this individual as okay. We may not even have contact with this person anymore. What we are doing is releasing ourselves from their power. We are no longer allowing this person(s) to have a hold on our life. No longer alloying them to drag us down.
Say it out loud, in your head or write it down then burn it, all the things you forgive this person for.
I forgive you for hurting me. For coming into my life as a friend or as family and leaving me wounded with my heart on the floor. I can only hope that one day you realize what is truly important.
I forgive you for the hateful words you spew at me. For all the names you called me. I know I am not these things. Thank you for making me stronger. Thank you for showing me that you need thick skin to live in a world as cruel as ours.
I forgive you for taking it out on me, the difficult times that life handed you. I forgive you for not leaning on me when you could, instead for trying to knock me down to build yourself up. For making me feel small and stepping on me just so that you could feel bigger. I hope it helped you. I hope you are happier.
I forgive you for the abuse you inflicted onto me. Be that physical, mental, verbal or emotional. It will never be okay, but I forgive you. I hope you don’t treat another being like you did me.
I forgive you for hurting me because you could not figure out what you wanted in life. I hope one day you figure this out. You deserve happiness. We all do.
I forgive you for bullying me. You must have went through some bullying yourself, maybe you had a rough childhood, maybe you feel like you are never good enough. I hope you find the help you need.
I forgive you for not having a mind of your own. For allowing others to influence your role in our relationship. I forgive you for holding grudges on things in the past that neither of us can change. I forgive you for not being in my life anymore. Know that this is your choice. Know that I have done all I can to try to put the pieces back together. I forgive you for not having enough confidence to stand up for what you believe.
I forgive you for not being able to put differences aside. I forgive you for not being there for holidays, for not making a solid effort. I hope you are living a life full of love.
We have to choose to forgive the people in our life that hurt us. If we don’t, if we let these people drag us down, we will find that we are dragging ourselves through life. With heavy weights on our shoulders. While these people who have hurt us in some way, shape or form, are out their living their lives as if nothing happened, or so it seems.
Choose happiness. Release yourself from their hold. Forgive them for you. Allow yourself to move on. You deserve it. Forgive these people and feel their weight that they had on you be lifted.
Imagine yourself pulling a wagon. Each person who has ever hurt you and left, someone who has made a heavy mark on your life is a big rock. Your wagon becomes more and more heavier with each sorrow we hold onto. Now imagine this wagon is becoming so heavy you are struggling to move, the wagon is struggling to function properly. Pick up a rock, toss it out. This is you forgiving this person. Notice the dent in the wagon from where the rock was. You are no longer being held down by the weight of that situation, but there will always be that dent. To remind you that you are strong, you have overcome and you have learned from this experience. As we toss out the rocks and forgive those who have harmed us, we become lighter.
Life is short and unpredictable. Short in a sense that time passes so quickly. We need to make the active decision to not let the weight of others and past experiences hold us down.
You have pulled this wagon full of rocks for long enough and it is time to start lightening your load.
Forgive. You do not have to forget. Always remember the lesson that you have learned.
It is time for you to start living a happy life, free from the weight of the past. You can not change the past, you can accept it, forgive it, and move on.
Make a list of all the people who you have been holding onto. Choose to forgive one person a week. Actively release them and the pain they caused you, from your life. Write them a letter (one that will be for your eyes only), write down all the things that you forgive them for. Burn the letter and imagine the weight being lifted off as the smoke rises to the sky and disappears.
Do not let their memory hold you back, when you feel like they are holding you back again, release them. Don’t allow yourself to dwell. Find something to keep your mind off it. If you need help, write down all the good in your life, all the things you have to be thankful for and focus on these instead.
It takes time and effort but I promise you that you will feel the benefits. You will notice a difference in your every day life. Notice that you are smiling more. Notice all the happiness that you have been closed off to receiving.
One day it’s different. Maybe subconsciously you’ve always known this wouldn’t last forever. One day a switch is flipped, now you find yourself driving in your car or walking down the street just trying to figure out what your next move should be. One moment you think you’re so in love and next thing you know, you’re here…..
How do you know it’s over? How can you be sure that moving on is the best move?
When you come home from a long day at work and they no longer get up to greet you. It used to be nearly impossible to get through the day without them taking over your mind, now you find yourself having to actively remind yourself to talk to them at some point during the day. Your heart doesn’t race as you pull into the drive, excited to be in their arms. Excited to hear about their day. Instead, you pull in the drive, shut off the car and sit there for a moment. You finally drag yourself out of the car, up the stairs and pause, sighing before opening the door. It doesn’t matter how many times you say to them “Why don’t you get up when I come home anymore? You don’t even turn away from the tv. Hell you don’t even acknowledge my presence” Nothing has changed. You stop and think, just how long has this been going on? A couple of weeks…. a few months…..?
When their touch used to send bolts of electricity through your body and now you do your best to avoid contact. There is no more fire. Not even a small rush when their hand brushes yours. That warmth you felt when your skin touched has turned cold. There are no more cuddles as you watch your evening shows. Separate couches. Separate blankets. Separate bed times. One on the couch and the other in the bed.
When you are more roommates than lovers. *Please take note that when asked “Are we just roommates now?” in the heat of an argument, in a moment that could change the fate of your relationship, do not reply “Yes” unless you are okay with watching them walk out the front door and never looking back.* It doesn’t go unnoticed when you two begin to simply coexist, passing by each other, no talking, just doing your own separate tasks. Small talk and simple, meaningless conversations fill the empty, deafening silence. Both of you know what is slipping away, both of you know this will keep spiralling down hill unless something changes. At least I hope both people realize this, I hope one is not thinking that life is great, that the love is great and everyone is happy. No one in their right minds, no one in a ‘relationship’ should think this is okay. To coexist as roommates would.
When there are seldom “Good Mornings” followed by a simple touch on the arm and a kiss. Those moments when they used to turn to you, smile, kiss your forehead and the day would be started off on a positive, happy note. Now, the first words out of their mouth are sour, so bitter. Your thrown back and can’t remember when the last time you woke up happy. When was the last time you looked forward to seeing their face in the morning? Hell, when was the last time you looked forward to seeing them at all……? The future of this “relationship” is becoming clearer and clearer each day…
When the “little things” no longer happen. Yet it’s the smallest, simplest things that can save us. Like holding hands. The simple gesture that reminds the other that you are there. You are a team. They are your support, you can always lean on and turn to them when you need. Now it’s gone, it is all gone. Can you remember the last time they held your hand? Or the last time you reached to have their fingers fill the space between yours?
When you try and try again to talk to them. To try to get them to see how you are feeling, in hopes that something might change. If they want this as bad as you think someone “in love” should, they will try to do what it takes. Make a solid effort to make this work. Raised voices and hurtful words are all you hear in response. There is no remorse. No sympathy and no more love in their eyes. Who is this person, you don’t even recognize them anymore…When you can no longer talk to the person you thought you could tell the world to, what option do you have….? When you are no longer being listened to…. it becomes more evident that something needs to change.
When arguing becomes the norm. You used to rarely bicker and now that’s all you do. Everyone will argue. Every couple will bicker. But it should never cut the other down. The words “you make me miserable” or “I don’t even like being around you” should NEVER leave either of your mouths. Unless, again, you are ready to accept whatever consequences may come from such hate-filled statements. It’s moments like this that should make you realize that this is not what you deserve in life, it is never too late.
At some moment something needs to flip the switch. Sometimes, more often than not, it takes time for this to happen. It’s not something anyone wants to believe. No one goes into a relationship rooting for the end. Excited for the pain and the heartbreak that leads up to and follows the break. It’s after months of trying. Months of trying to talk and to change the inevitable outcome. With no prevail and constantly being cut down. When you’ve tried all you can, you know this can not go on for any longer. A relationship involves two parties. Two beings who need to put in work, time and effort to keep the love alive. Without both sides doing their part, love fails.
It’s when we finally get to see someone’s true colours, when the rose-coloured glasses finally come off and we can now see. Love can blind us, but it can only blind us for so long until we finally see. It’s then that we find ourselves at these crossroads; we can stay, but only to realize that it still won’t change a thing, or we can choose ourselves and make the heart wrenching decision to leave and move on. As much as it will hurt, always choose you.
Always choose the decision that is best for you. You have been hurt enough. You have cried enough. Don’t ever be scared of hurting the others feelings in the end, always remember what lead you to this decision, why you even had to contemplate moving on in the first place. Always believe in yourself. Don’t let this negative person cut you down any further than they already have. See your true worth, chose the journey to self-love and learning to love yourself for who you truly are.
Trust and realize that everything truly happens for a reason, everyone comes into our lives for a reason. Whether that reason be a blessing or a lesson. Either way you are learning. You are becoming a stronger person with ever experience you have.
Always trust the process. Through the happy and the sad.
Signed by a woman learning to love herself again; know that you are never alone.
Being able to witness a chicks journey as they bring themselves into this world, is an absolutely amazing, magical experience that everyone should witness at least once in their life.
It all starts the day that the fertilized eggs are placed into the incubator or under a broody hen (a stubborn hen who just wants to sit on all her eggs and make herself a nest).
The process is fairly quick; from fertilization to the chick hatching. This averages about 21 days for chickens, and 28 days for peacocks, guinea, domestic ducks and other birds as well. There is a lot of work involved in this process to ensure that there is a successful hatch.
Heres a little look into the journey from egg to the hatching chick. This will be of a Guinea chick, with a 28 day cycle.
Day 1 – Eggs, which are believed to fertilized, are transferred into an incubator. The incubator is turned on before hand to ensure that it is working properly and holding temperature. Usually about 99.5 degrees fahrenheit (this varies depending on what kind of egg you are hatching; chicken, duck, peacock, quail, guinea, etc). A drop or increase in temperature by even a degree and the embryo could be ruined. Humidity also must remain throughout the entire process between 40% – 50% and then increased to between 65% – 75% while the eggs are in “lockdown” during the final days before hatching.
The eggs are believed to be fertilized if when candled; held above a candle or light source in a dark room, there is a small donut shaped mass or blastoderm that can be seen.
If the incubator does not have an auto turner, these eggs must be rotated at least 2 times a day and at roughly the same time each day. Each egg is marked with an X on one side and an O on the other. This ensures that all eggs are rotated and makes it easy to determine which have and have not been turned.
Day 2 – Blood vessels are starting to appear, the brain and heart begin forming.
Day 3 – The heart begins to beat. Blood vessels are thickening and growing.
Day 4 – The Nose, limbs and wings are beginning to form.
Day 5 – Toes, eye spot and beak are now appearing.
Day 6 – Voluntary movement begins, the chick is now starting to move within the egg on its own.
Day 7 – Brain, heart, ears, beak, stomach, tongue and comb growth takes place.
Day 8 – The beak is growing, the upper and lower mandibles (jaw) are now visible.
Day 9 – Organs are developing
Candling can also take place on this day, again the egg is held above a candle or light source in the dark. We are now looking for movement within the egg and to ensure that the “mass” we saw at the beginning has grown. If there is no growth or no longer a visible chick, the egg is removed from the incubator.
Day 10 – Down feathers begin to grow
Day 11 – Egg tooth is formed.
This is a small, temporary cap that sits on the top of the chicks beak. When the chick is close to hatching, it will use this egg tooth to break through the air sac within the egg. During the early incubation stages, air is brought into the egg throughout its porous shell. As the chick develops and grows, this air supply becomes insufficient. Which is when the chick will break through the air sac, where it will be able to find more oxygen. Next the chick will use the egg tooth to break through the shell, this is called pipping.
Day 12 – Organs continue to develop.
Day 13 – Wings and limbs are developing even more.
Day 14 – Toes grow and continue to develop.
Day 15 – Eyelids start to grow over the eyes. Tail feathers are growing.
Day 16 – Toes and claws are formed.
Day 17 – Down feathers are continuing to grow.
Day 18 – Wings and legs are becoming more defined. The neck is increasing in length.
This is also when the final candling happens. Again, eggs that are not developing or are not showing movement are removed.
Day 19 – Feet are fully formed.
Day 20 – Down is increasing.
These down feathers are why chicks are so fluffy after they have hatched. Once they are dry, their down will be fluffy. Over the next weeks, as the chick grows, the is down will be replaced by actual feathers.
Day 21 – Egg tooth is fully developed and ready to be used.
Day 22 – Eyes can now open and close.
Day 23 – Embryo heads toward the blunt end of the egg.
This means that the air sac will now begin to form at the blunt (wide) end of the egg.
Day 24 – Down feathers now cover the chicks body
Day 25 – Albumen is absorbed and the yolk provides nutrients.
The egg yolk is absorbed into the chicks abdomen, this will provide the chick the nutrients and energy it needs to hatch and will allow enough energy for the next couple days as the chick learns to eat and drink.
Day 26 – Remaining yolk is absorbed.
Eggs are now placed on “lockdown” this means that humidity will be increased to the 65% – 75% that we discussed earlier, rotating of eggs will stop. The incubator will not be opened now until the chicks are ready to be transferred to their brooder. A brooder is a draft free place the chicks will stay with a heat source to keep them warm as they grow and become stronger over the next days and weeks.
Day 27 – Embryo prepares for hatch.
Day 28 – Hatch begins. Egg tooth is used to break through the shell. The chick will be wet when it first comes out. Once the chicks are dry and fluffy they are transferred to the brooder, this is usually after 24 hours.
Pipping is a tiring process, some chicks take a little longer than others from initial break to completely hatching. Little chirps can be heard once the shell has been cracked. They are learning how to walk, they tend to stumble across the incubator and often knocking around other eggs. Chicks will sleep a lot after they have hatched.
The chick has “unzipped” the egg. Started by pipping through one part of the egg and rotating to chip away at the egg so it can break free.
Once unzipped, the chick will begin to push with its feet to open the shell.
The tired chick has almost completed the hatch.
The babies will cuddle together, rest and soon their wet bodies will be covered in their fluffy down feathers.
The process is nothing short of amazing and magical. It is breath taking to see the chick finally break through its hard shell. Just like in humans, it is a beautiful, magical thing to watch a new baby come into the world.
I hope this article was informative and educational. It was a pleasure to share this experience with you!
Hatch-A-Batch; I use an absolutely wonderful app called Hatch-A-Batch on my iPhone (I am sure it is available on android as well). It allows you to track your batch and informs you where your chicks are in their development each day. You can set reminders and track more than one batch at a time. Definitely recommend!
This is also where I pulled the information as to what happens in each day of incubation. I think its is remarkable how fast chicks develop, considering they are only incubated for just under a month!
Photos & Videos; The photos and videos were all taken by myself, Ciara. They are all from the most recent hatch of Guineas I had. The hatching began on July 7, 2017.
He is out there living his life. Making memories with all the important people in his life. People I haven’t even met yet, some people I might never get to meet.
Maybe tonight he’s heart broken. Letting his emotions get the best of him. Kept awake at night by the pain he’s feeling. Each day he’s getting stronger too.
Maybe today is one of the best days of his life, something I will one day hear about.
With no doubt he is out there working hard, trying to make a living. Make a future for him self and his future family.
He has this beautiful life, all these beautiful memories, all this beauty I haven’t even had the pleasure of seeing.
It’s an amazing feeling, realizing that somewhere out there is a man I will one day meet. Maybe one day in passing, on fluke at an event; but I have no doubt that it will be because we were both in the right place at the right time.
Someone who is just waiting for someone like me. Who will treat me like nothing I have felt before. Someone who will take care of me. Love me unconditionally and be thankful for me every day. As will I.
When the time is right, I know our paths will cross. Everything happens for a reason and we are never somewhere we are not supposed to be.
Listen to her when she has the courage to sit you down, to tell you how she is feeling. When she talks, give her your undivided attention. Let her know that her words are important to you, that it is okay for her to open up. Make her feel safe.
Listen to the way her voice breaks, notice how her eyes are filling with the tears she’s trying to hold back. Over flowing with emotion, now more than ever she needs you to listen. To hear every word she is saying and understand the way she is hurting.
Listen, you will hear her heart re-break as she replays all the ways you have hurt her. Her guard is down, becoming completely vulnerable. Laying everything that fills her mind, thoughts that keep her up at night on the table in front of you.
Your reaction is everything during this crucial time. Do not get mad, Do not turn away. Do not try to justify why you may have done what you did or say what you said. More important than anything else, do not raise your voice at her. Ever.
Making her feel as though the way she is hurting is invalid will only shut her down. She will bottle up all her feelings. Starting to pull away, the connection you two once had will slowly start to unravel. Once you make her feel this way, everything will start to change.
“It’s Fine” , “It is Okay” , “I don’t care” ; become regular statements. She’s pulling away. You cut her down. Every little thing you do now becomes so much bigger; the little things you say to ‘pick’ on her, how you ‘joke’ around, she will hold on to all of these moments. These will start to pile up.
Until one day she can not take it anymore. She won’t look at you with the same love in her eye, the way she did before. She’ll begin to see you in a different light. You will no longer be someone she desires. Your fingers running across her skin will no longer send chills down her spine. She’ll only wish you would keep your hands to yourself.
Once she realizes she has the strength, she will turn and walk away. Gathering what is left of her heart, out the door she will go. You can call all you want, beg her to come back, tell her you are sorry, you can try to reassure her that this time you will change. Your efforts will fail. You will realize what it feels like to be ignored.
It takes an unbelievable amount of strength, to listen to you beg and cry for her to come back. It will take all her might to ignore you. She will hang up and a few tears might fall, she might let a tear fall as she hits ignore again and again. She will not break. She will remember all the times you made her cry, how you stopped coming to hold her, how her tears no longer made you feel remorse. She will remember how you cut her down, made her feel invalid.
All you had to do was listen. Take the time to sit with her, hold her as she cried. All you had to do was hear the words that broke her, to change the way you speak to her, the way you make her feel when she comes home after a long day at work. Building her up instead of cutting her down would have made the difference. Instead she will learn to love herself again.
She will build herself back up. One day she will find that she doesn’t cry over the thought of you anymore. The way you hurt her will no longer make her cringe. She will find herself smiling, a true happy smile, for the first time in a long time.
As we go through life, experiencing new feelings and new emotions, we learn new lessons. These lessons make us stronger. Each day we become a better, stronger version of ourselves. But…
You don’t have to be strong all the time.
It is okay to let yourself cry, its okay to not always be “alright.”
It is not a sign of weakness. You have come so far. Take a look back at how far you have come. Be proud.
It is okay to be overwhelmed. This is a new start. You need to find your new normal, find yourself again.
Strong people are not strong 24/7. Even the strongest people you think you know, have moments of weakness. Everyone has them.
These moments of weakness come and they test us. They make us feel things we don’t want to feel. They make us force ourselves to remember why we are strong, why we are where we are today.
Our minds are so powerful. The mind will tempt us with good memories, with feelings of sadness and sorrow. It might make us question what we have done. It is okay to feel these things.
Know that these moments will pass, at the beginning we must take it moment by moment. We need to take these moments in, to remind ourselves why we are here. Why we have decided to do what we did.
It is in overcoming these moments of weakness, that we make ourselves stronger. The more we overcome, the stronger we become.
Part Two – Reassurance
This is why at the beginning; the first days, the first weeks, that we experience these moments so regularly. It is building a foundation, which our strength will grow upon.
Each life lesson gives us a new pillar of strength within. We are filled with these pillars of strength. Each new breakup will build a new pillar, with a new life lesson. New strength. These pillars come together to build that castle that is ourselves. The foundation to building a castle of love, love for one’s self. It is in finding new strength that we learn to love ourselves. Which is key in being capable of loving anything or anyone else truly.
It is so hard at first. Find strength and lean on those around you. Lean on your friends and family. People who build you up, push you to be better, push you to succeed. We have all felt this way one time or another.
My loving father reassured me one day, this day came after a night where I laid in bed and struggled to find my strength. Before I knew it, my mind was filled with all these thoughts. All the happy times, wondering how the other party was feeling. Picturing him struggling, sad. My body filled with over powering emotions. Next thing I knew tears where escaping from my eyes. It was in that moment that I had to force myself to remember why I made the decision I did. That I was in an unhealthy place in my life. It helped me to remember the encouraging and reassuring words my friends and family said to me when I had the courage to leave. Remembering how his grandfather had nothing but praise for my strength. Making myself see the bigger picture, reminding myself of the new, exciting goals I had set for myself. That morning I woke up stronger. I was reassured of this when my dad said “You know, you don’t always have to be so strong, Its okay.” In that moment I replied, “I know”. I did. I knew that my moments of weakness where not in fact weak, for they make me stronger.
Treasure every moment. Each struggle, each moment of weakness, these work to build a better version of yourself.
Next time there is a moment of weakness, believe in yourself. Do not cave in. Strive to overcome and celebrate your achievement. Feel the power within. Realize that our minds will tempt us, they will show us things that we don’t want to see. When picture the other party sitting there crying, realize that the reality is, they probably are going about their life just fine.
Remember why you changed your life. Remember your strength. This time is so important to work on ourselves. To build ourselves into even stronger, more amazing people.
Be proud of yourself always. Always strive to see your strength. Be amazed at what you are capable of. Love yourself first and the rest will follow.
Celebrate yourself. You are truly amazing.
*** My favourite song for this topic will always be “A Little bit Stronger” by Sara Evans. If you have not heard, I encourage you to listen. Take in the lyrics. She talks about how she gets a little bit stronger through every moment of her day. “It doesn’t happen over night, but you turn around and a months gone by and you realize you haven’t cried, I’m not giving you and hour or another moment longer, I’m busy getting stronger.” and “Even on my weakest days I get a little bit stronger.” The whole song is empowering to reassure that we are always getting stronger, we will never be the same, because we are stronger now than ever before.
Do you have a song that gets you through time of struggle? How do you push yourself to overcome moments of weakness?
Everything happens for a reason. This sounds cliché, but it is true. We often can not see the reason for something happening at the time, but one day when we look back, the reasoning will be crystal clear. I have learnt to trust the process.
Time with family is time well spent. Every moment spent with loved ones should be cherished. Time is not guaranteed. Life can change on a dime. It is important to always live life like it was our last moment. Tell people how you truly feel, reconnect with lost friends, be the change you wish to see and most importantly, always lift people up.
Laugh often. Laughter is the greatest medicine and it is such an amazing feeling to truly laugh. Those laughs that make your belly ache. Live for those. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard it hurts.
We are too young to ever be miserable. You are never too old to change your life. We should never spend more time in misery than we do happiness. Remember this. Live this.
A year, in the grand scheme of life, is not a long time. When it comes to your whole life, one year is just a chapter. I have been in 2 “long-term”relationships both about 3 years long. However this time spent is so small compared to the life I have lived and the life still ahead of me. A year will fly by before we know it. Each month that comes and goes, we always say or hear “I can’t believe its already July!” or “Where did May go??” Live each day to its fullest, embrace all the lessons and learn from mistakes.
Never “settle” because of time, you do not ever have to settle. If life is not happening as you wanted, or is not fulfilling your desires. Change it. Change your job, end a relationship, say what is on your mind. The power is all yours. Never settle for anything less than everything, everything you deserve, everything you have wanted.
In times of high stress, remaining calm, omitting a calm energy will be the key to success. In my few years of experience with animals so far, I have learned to remain calm in high stress situations. Animals feed heavily off your energy, if you remain calm, it helps them to remain calm as well. Freaking out and getting mad over a situation doesn’t help and only makes it worse. Whether the situation be escaped animals running loose in the neighbourhood or an animal being hurt by another, always do your best to remain as calm as possible.
The bond between a human and an animal can be amazingly strong. It is amazing how 2 beings of different species can connect without even ever speaking the same language. The understanding between this bond is unbelievable. It is absolutely magical how we can connect with other species. Always be kind to animals.
Love is stronger than anything in the world. If only we would all let love in. Love for each other. Love for animals, Love for all living and non living things. I experience more each day, the meaning of love.
Nature is spectacular. I have opened my eyes within the last 3 years to the beauty that lies within nature. The northern lights, the towering mountains, the way the weather can change almost instantly, the power mother nature has to grow and destroy at the same time. Within this new-found appreciation, I have grown.
The past is not something to regret, but to learn from. We must take important lessons from the past and learn from them. We are constantly learning new things, becoming stronger and better people. Forgive yourself for the past, celebrate and embrace the future.
Starting over is scary. But in the end it is so worth the rewards. Learning to love yourself again. It is never fair to put ourselves in an unhealthy situation and not remove ourselves when we always have the power to do so. It takes a lot of strength, but that strength is always within us, we just sometimes have to look for it. Again, never settle.
People are brought into our lives for a reason. They are also taken from our lives for a reason. As always, this reason isn’t always clear and it seems so very unfair. You have to trust in the process. Learn new things, hear new stories. Cherish every moment. Suffer through the pain. However, you must always love and never let those who are dearest to you slip away. Make a conscious effort in maintaining a relationship with those important to you, even when life gets hectic. It all happens for a reason, trust it.
The mind is a powerful tool. Work with it. If it is positivity you want, you must think it. The mind attracts what it thinks. Negative attracts negative and when you turn that to positive, wonderful things start happening. Try it.
“Trust your gut” Always. If your gut is telling you no. Then do not proceed. Intuition is another powerful thing we all possess. We must learn to listen to and trust it. You will be amazed if you actively start listening to yourself. You are smarter than you credit yourself for.